So, it is taking me some courage to write about this incident. I acted like a total and complete idiot. And, unfortunately, I bet a lot of you can relate.
Before I tell my tale, I want to say that I really and truly believe that ALL women are beautiful....at ANY size. I believe that with all my heart. So please don't think I am judging the rest of you for my bad behavior, I just judge myself....harshly.
It was a beautiful day in the quaint little town of Fairhope, AL. My mother and I were shopping and stopped in to one of our favorite boutiques. It was the perfect time of year because it was the end of the season so all the gorgeous and expensive clothes were on sale.
So, I am flipping through the 75% off rack and spot this absolutely adorable gray dress with blue polka dots complete with a thin matching belt. I look at it and think, this is my size! It is perfect. Then, I looked at the tag and it went downhill from there.
The tag said it was a size 10. For those of you who don't know me, that is not my normal size at all. And, the employees of this store were about to get an earful about how this was absolutely not my normal size.
And so it began....diarrhea of the mouth. It went a little something like this:
ME: "This CANNOT be a size 10. I mean it just can't be. Look how small it is!"
MOM: "Just try it on! It is a $300 dress for $38!!!"
I reluctantly try it on.
ME "This must be mis-sized. There is NO WAY this is a size 10. I wear a size 4! NEVER a 10! That is not even close to my size. I mean, maybe I might wear a size 6 sometimes but usually a 4 but never a 10!"
This dress fits like a glove like it was made for me.
ME: "This dress is probably 75% off because it is mis-sized. I just couldn't be a a TRUE size 10."
And it went on and on and on. How insecure could I get? REALLY?
Mom is probably so embarrassed by me at this point, but does convince me to get the dress. It was $38!
So, as we are checking out the saleslady gets a pair of scissors, cuts out the tag of the dress, hands it to me and says, "Here, now it is a size 4!"
I totally deserved it.
I hate to admit it, but this only happened about a year ago and as I reflect, I think.....
1. SO WHAT? So what if that dress wasn't labeled the size I wanted it to be? Who would EVER know? Why do I care SO much?
2. How did it make everyone else around me feel to be going on and on about a size 10 like it was a size 1 million?
I still struggle with having all the perfect numbers. In my head I know it is completely ridiculous. But, in my heart, it is a struggle. So, how do we as mothers overcome this need for perfection?
DAILY give it to God. God wants to bear all our insecurities and struggles...big or small.
REMIND ourselves to love and embrace the body that God created for us and USE it to glorify Him.
Ladies, you are beautiful. I am beautiful. We are all created in the image of our Lord and Saviour. CLAIM that today.