Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Face or Fake?

While eating dinner with friends one night, the subject of facebook came up.  So, of course, my non-facebooking, always-funny and wise husband said it should be called FAKEbook not facebook.

While I really enjoy facebook, I think there is some truth in his statement.

Facebook can be a very positive, fun experience.  My brother and his family are moving to Montana, and I never get to see them.  Facebook has provided a wonderful way to keep in touch with them.  When friends have had a health crisis or a sick child, facebook can be a great source of comfort and encouragement. And, of course, it is just fun catching up with old friends.

BUT, this is a big BUT, facebook can be the source of comparison, jealousy, temptation, and just all-around negative feelings of inadequacy.   Now, I promise, I am not that person screaming "facebook is from the devil", I am just saying you need to remember that facebook is simply a GLIMPSE into another person's life.

Let's say you are skimming through one of your 800 dearest friend's pictures.  She is on vacation with her gorgeous husband, and picture by picture it SEEMS like she has it all.  She looks skinny in all the photos, smiles abound and not to mention, where did they get all that money for that vacation?

Or, some of my favorite posts are the ones who profess their undying love to each other in an anniversary or birthday message.  Yes, I am sure there is truth to these messages, but there is more to every story.  I will see such posts and a tiny part of me will wish Colter would get on facebook and tell the world how much he adores me!!  HA!  I know he loves and adores me, so why the need to profess it on facebook?  He is my soulmate, but he would die if I wrote something like that on facebook.  Because there is so much more to our story and theirs.  Yes, they might mean every word of that heart-felt message, but, unless you are their nearest and dearest, you don't know what it took to get to their blissful state.  Or worse, they might be lying!!  Facebook doesn't sound an alarm if someone tells a lie!

You may feel like your life doesn't "measure up."

I remember when Colter retired from playing professional baseball.  It was the hardest year of our lives.  He had spend most of his career in triple-A and had 25 days in the big leagues.  It was an exciting, yet very emotional journey. (for me at least!)  I remember the year he quit was the year I got on facebook.  Seeing the other baseball families on facebook whose husbands were still in the game was hard.  I thought, why can't that be us?  Or, I wish Colter could have had more time in the big leagues like ______.  But, the truth is this is the path God chose for us and His plan has been perfect!

What we need to remember here is that we shouldn't compare at all...ever!  One of my mom's favorite sayings is "You never know what is going on behind closed doors!"

Recently, I posted a happy, beautiful picture of my baby girl having fun at Legoland.  To all who viewed the photo it seemed like it had been the perfect day in Lego paradise. I told my friend Hillery who was with us..."If only facebookers could see the events surrounding this photo!!"

Now, let's focus on my favorite topic: body image.  When it comes to facebook, who do you know that puts an unflattering picture on facebook?  I know the trick.  You "hide" behind your kids in the photo to escape the full-body image!  Or, you only post pictures of your kids because you wouldn't dare show the world the body and face God gave you!

I made Colter take this picture of me 5 times because I said the first four made me look fat!

Let's just wrap this up by saying, quit comparing yourself to others on facebook and quit spending so much time on facebook!! Do I need to say this again?  Let's take to heart what we teach our kids - you are special, and you are made in God's image.  You are exactly where you are suppose to be in this journey called life.

P.S. Here's a picture of my voice of reason.  I love taking pictures with him because he is so big and tall he always makes me look small.  Oh my!  I need to go back and read my own words!!

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